Just Show Up & Follow the Signs

Today was the perfect example of life flowing when you are on the path. After a beautiful 90-minute chakra balancing flow with Jillian Pransky, I walked an hour to hike Mills Reservation. On my way there a friend sent me a song he wrote. The energy of the song started stirring up some karmic shit that I know I've been dealing with for more than this lifetime. Insecurities. Doubts. The "I'm not 'this' or 'that' enough." Maybe I wasn't cut out to spend time with these people. I couldn't keep up with them. They are SO much deeper on the path than me. I heard myself having this conversation, but then I heard another voice chime in; a reverberation of something I've been pleading for (God knows for how long): "For once, I just don't want to be the teacher." And that's when it hit me: how could I ever embrace being the student if I let my ego push my teachers away? I asked for these brilliant, creative, spiritual people to come into my life, and The Universe delivered. That's when the tears came, like a wave of energy rushing through me, I felt the release of something I've been holding onto for far too long. The ego must be silenced, I must be humble in order to receive the teachings I need in this life. Where I am is perfect. Who I am is perfect. I don't need to do or be anything more. I am enough. I hiked to the summit and looked out on NYC, grateful that I was given the opportunity to feel those nasty emotions and look at them more deeply. On my way home, I stopped for a chai latte at a cafe I don't often have the opportunity to go to. One of the baristas started a conversation with me. Soon after a bearded man came in. We talked, and before I knew it I had found a Tai Chi teacher and was taking my first lesson. Confront the darkness. Invite it over for tea. Be passionately curious about it. Then interrogate the shit out of it until you realize why it's there and where it came from. Be with whatever emotions arise from this process, then when the emotions pass, notice how where the darkness once was, the light has found its way in. Find your flow and feel it, move with it, become it.